George Brett Celebrates His 59th Birthday Today, So Enjoy This Legendary Pooping Tale [Video]

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George Brett has a story tell. Before he even begins said story, some of the first words uttered by the Hall of Famer are “I shit my pants last night. I did.”

Brett goes on to explain that he can be counted on to shit his pants twice a year. You can really never go wrong when an anecdote is prefaced by such amazing, tone-setting subject matter.

I’ll let the Royals legend take it from here, but of the many memorable lines in his story, this one definitely lives in the top tier:

“I said Larry, you won’t believe this. I’m standing outside the fuckin’ Bellagio. I can’t move, I got shit everywhere. I shit all over myself.”

Outstanding. The transition from the story to casually asking who’s pitching pretty much makes George Brett a hero.