EPL Monday: Sergio Agüero Will Be Your Golden Boot Winner; Five Teams for One Final Relegation Spot

Let’s take a quick stroll through the English Premier League, which is down to its penultimate slate of games this coming weekend. Almost everything is now decided except the final team to be relegated. If we want to get technical, there’s still the musical chairs between Liverpool, Tottenham and Southampton of which club lucks out, missing the Europa League, too. Fun! 

* Golden Boot: Sergio Agüero scored three vs. QPR on Sunday during a 6-0 win that confirmed the Hoops relegation back to the Championship. Agüero is up to 25 goals and will win the Golden Boot, unless Harry Kane can close a five-goal gap in two games. The Argentine’s clearly been the best, most consistent player for Manchester City as it shuffled through a season of failed expectations. Without his goals, perhaps, City is in a struggle for one of the Champions League places.

It’s worth pointing out with Agüero that 12 of his 25 tallies came against QPR, Aston Villa, Newcastle United, Sunderland and Hull City, compared to only four against the Top Four — three vs. Manchester United, one vs. Arsenal. At the same time Agüero scored vs. Barcelona in the Champions League, where he also netted a hat trick vs. Bayern Munich. (He also has five against Spurs on the season.) Suffice to say, Agüero is the least of City’s problems. To that note, having a player with the skill and class like Agüero who can continually beat up on the weakest of the league is actually a very handy quality. Great players like Agüero can pad their stats with hat tricks vs. the bottom clubs and his 77 league goals in 118 games for City speaks for itself.

Of course his four goals this season vs. QPR pale in comparison to his famous tally on the final day of the season in 2011-12.

Whomever is in charge of the club come August — the Pep Guardiola rumors will only intensify — is going to need to figure out a way to work Agüero and Wilfried Bony together in the same line-up since the Argentina international tends to be less-effective operating as a lone striker.

* Going down: Burnley and QPR were officially relegated from the Premier League. Both clubs and their fans knew their fate long ago. Still, much like a looming breakup text, you know it’s coming, but it doesn’t make it go down any easier once the alert pops up on your phone. Oh well. That’s life, right?

Burnley didn’t spend and are a small-town club. Their relegation, despite the best efforts of manager Sean Dyche, felt inevitable. QPR spent a fortune and face a looming decision about Financial Fair Play that could ruin the club — Sky Sports explains what it’s all about better than I can, so read that for some facts. The fate of the club bears watching, as it could get ugly.

Danny Ings will be sold by Burnley. He could help a mid-tier EPL team as a second or third choice striker, but figure someone will once again over-pay due to the unofficial English player premium since teams never learn. The bigger issue is how long Dyche sticks around Turf Moor. Even in relegation his star will never be brighter, so he might hop on a job — Sunderland perhaps? Then again his team does have fewer points than games played. Admittedly I’m swayed by his nickname, The Ginger Mourinho.

There are more name-brand players when picking through the bones of QPR — Steven Caulker stands out — but buyer beware here, especially since many of these players sport high wages. Sandro is dealing with a work visa issue, so perhaps cross him off the list.

And the final spot goes to …: We’re down to five teams for one relegation spot. Sunderland was the weekend’s big winner, beating Everton 2-0 on a pair of fluke, deflected goals. At this rate the club might as well only play games in April and May since its always fighting just above the relegation zone.

Here’s how we look:

• 14. Aston Villa 38 points 36 games played; at Southampton; vs. Burnley
• 15. Leicester City 37 points, 36 gp; at Sunderland vs. QPR
• 16. Sunderland 36 points, 35 gp: vs. Leicester City; at Arsenal; at Chelsea
• 17. Newcastle United 36 points, 36 gp; at QPR; vs. West Ham
• 18. Hull City 34 points, 36 gp; at Tottenham; vs. Manchester United

Nothing is Tim-possible, but Aston Villa is safe. Leicester’s late season run should see them okay, too. Sunderland’s three remaining games aren’t easy, making this weekend’s game vs. Leicester almost do-or-die. If Newcastle — it’s a big if — can at least get a draw out of its last two, the Magpies live to fight another day. Hull needs a win and help with two tricky games.

Considering the wild final days of the season in recent years, it would seem to reason we’re due to a tame final Sunday on May 24.

[Late update: Arsenal’s undefeated streak ended Monday with a 1-0 loss at the Emirates to Swansea City  via a Bafétimbi Gomis header. The Gunners no longer control their own destiny to finish second.]