Dwight Howard Absolutely Does Not Get to Be Superman AND Batman

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Dwight Howard's on-court contributions are unlikely to decide the Nuggets-Lakers series and his on-bench musings are even less important to the whole process of determining a winner. Let's start from that foundation. What he hollered at Nikola Jokic isn't the biggest fish to fry. But it is interesting.

Here is the thing. The not-very-important-but-bothering thing. Howard is one of the least-liked players in the NBA and appears to have no intentions to change that. Few people appreciate the guy who gives himself nicknames. Here, Howard may be adopting a new one from a recent Sam Amick column in The Athletic. The bigger problem is that double-dipping into the superhero moniker bowl is a no-no.

If you'll recall, Howard donned the Superman cape at the 2008 NBA Dunk Contest, upsetting the previous Superman, Shaquille O'Neal. Howard didn't go as far as getting a Superman tattoo like the Big Aristotle (O'Neal's nickname polygamy is a subject for a later blog) but was reasonably recognized by the nickname.

So he cannot be Batman now. That's not how this works. It's not how any of this works. Most people would kill to even have one DC or Marvel or whatever I refuse to look up comic hero as an alter ego. There's no second bite of the apple.

Worse, Howard does not encapsulate the general vibe of either Superman or Batman. Certainly not the latter. Batman and The Joker are such a perfect pairing because they play off each other. The Joker exists to remind Batman that they aren't so different after all, each mad in his own way but only one accepted by society.

Howard and Jokic are not operating on the same frame. Or story. Or even book. One is the future of the league. The other is a relic of the past. Their games could not be more different.

Anyway, we must cease this nonsense immediately. Anyone actually referring to Howard as Batman from this point forward should be excommunicated. Turned over to the people of Gotham for swift justice.