Joe Biden Removes Magic Diet Coke Button From Resolute Desk

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It was pointed out by someone more original than myself, but the whole administration changeover has the feel of a poorly managed La Quinta Inn that didn't leave enough time between checkout and check-in. The furious rush to deep-clean the White House, hang up new art, and time it out so only one person has control of the nuclear football at a time seems needlessly stressful and ripe for some re-inspection because, surely, there's a smoother way to do all this.

But this isn't a blog about presidential transitions. It's a blog about low-calorie soda and immediacy. About rising to become the most powerful person in the world and how one chooses to wield that power.

Donald Trump used his to have a button on his desk he could press at any time to conjure an immediate Diet Coke. Joe Biden is using his newfound influence and reach to remove that button and seek out his thirst-quenching swills through other means.

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The introduction of the button was big news when reporters started sniffing around the desk in 2017. Things were a bit funnier then for some reason — probably because the past few years, especially this past one have been a bit bumpy.

One of the first appearances in print came via the Financial Times:

"Sitting across from Donald Trump in the Oval Office, my eyes are drawn to a little red button on a box that sits on his desk. “This isn’t the nuclear button, is it?” I joke, pointing. “No, no, everyone thinks it is,” Trump says on cue, before leaning over and pressing it to order some Cokes. “Everyone does get a little nervous when I press that button.”"

Biden, while not as documented a soda fan as his predecessor, is known to be fond of both Diet Coke and Coke Zero. The latter, of course, is the superior product. He exudes the energy of someone who could fondly recall the flavor of Classic Coke and talk about how it had a zippier bite back then, Mack.

The first photos inside Biden's Oval don't reveal anything too weird or fun so this looks like another content avenue that's dried up overnight.