I Want to Defend Mark Zuckerberg But That's Just So Much Sunscreen, Dude

A picture of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg with what many are describing as an unreasonable amount of sunscreen on his face has gone viral, which is unfortunate because it feels like an invasion of privacy when people recognize something about your facial features against your will. The billionaire was spotted surfing on what I assume is a giant, aqua-friendly laptop in Hawaii while looking like anyone from Crazy Joe Davola, Mrs. Doubtfire, an aspiring mime and/or The Joker.

Let's get the obvious out of the way. This is very funny. The combination of subject and source material is sublime. Zuckerberg is not particularly beloved and it's easy to clown him when he looks like an actual, honest-to-goodness clown.

That said, it's worth pointing out that sunscreen is good. Hot take, right? Protecting one's skin from the sun's harmful UV Rays is an example of good tech. The kind that keeps intrusive toxins from entering the body. Like a de facto fact check that keeps one from taking in something that will only make them look stupid in the future. If you feel I'm laying it on a little thick, imagine how Zuck's face must have felt.

So we shouldn't be shaming anyone for wearing sunscreen. Or zigging when the rest of the internet zags. We should be pointing out that this is truly an extraordinary excess of the lotion. So much so that, try as I may, I cannot contort an argument to suggest otherwise.

In summation, sunscreen is good. And not particularly funny. Sunscreen hanging off one's face with the fluffiness of a lemon meringue pie, though, is absolutely fair game. If we can't laugh at this, what do we have left?

Sorry, Zuck. Surely there are any number of weird nerds out there fighting for your honor. I cannot be one of them.