The College Football Playoff is Like Olive Garden on a Friday Night and Jimbo Fisher Can't Get a Seat

By Stephen Douglas
Jimbo Fisher
Jimbo Fisher / Bob Levey/Getty Images
facebooktwitter

Texas A&M Aggies football coach Jimbo Fisher went on Paul Finebaum's show on Wednesday to make a case for expanding the College Football Playoff to five or eight teams. This is a real shocker as Fisher coaches the fifth-ranked team in the nation.

You know how the Olive Garden is always packed every Friday night? Well, there are certain parties that show up there and immediately get seated. That's Alabama and Clemson.

Then there's that group that is there every Friday at the same time and nobody really likes them, but they just kind of have their own table and everyone just lives with it. That's Ohio State.

Then there's a different family every week that randomly gets where they're going on time. Mom and dad both finished work early and didn't hit traffic and the kids were all ready to go. That's Notre Dame this year. Last year it was Oklahoma.

And then you have Florida State. They're the family that shows up after the restaurant is already full, but they are really hungry. They didn't realize they would even be going out tonight, but now they really want some bread sticks. They're standing in front of the hostess station, tapping their foot. They look in and see some people just sitting around who clearly finished their meals and paid the check, but they just won't get up. Just leave! They are so close. It isn't fair. And their tummies are rumbling and that's when dad says to mom loud enough for the hostess to hear, "I don't know why they aren't opening up another section." More people should be eating right now. There are even a few parties behind them that could be eating. It doesn't matter that there are no more sections. Sure, Olive Garden might renovate in a year or two, but the place is currently at capacity.

There's also another group that shows up and the hostess says there's an hour wait so they decide to go to Chik-fil-A or Outback and sit at the bar. Those are all the Power Five teams who lost a few games this year so they end up at the Chik-fil-A or Outback Bowls.

And finally, there the people who show up and find out there's a two-hour wait so they just decide they weren't hungry anyway even if they are currently broke and couldn't have afford a bowl of Cheez-Its right now if they wanted. That's LSU.

No matter which group you are, once your family is seated, there's nothing anyone can do. Rest assured the family who got the good seats at the Olive Garden do not give a shit about the restaurant opening another section so other people can eat. That's why Nick Saban is seated, not wanting to diminish the bowl games and weaken the postseason. If Jimbo Fisher wants to eat at Olive Garden, he shouldn't let Nick Saban force him off the road on the way to the restaurant. Otherwise, his only hope is one of the seated parties does something stupid and gets kicked out. Even then, the people in those seats often know the manager so they have to do something egregious to be asked to leave.

facebooktwitter