Colin Cowherd Went Nuts With Metaphors Today

Colin Cowherd
Colin Cowherd /

Regular readers of this blog site know we hold an appreciation for the array of odd metaphors, similes, and comparisons Colin Cowherd will throw out into the takeverse each day on The Herd. This writer's personal favorite was when the Fox Sports host likened Aaron Rodgers' relationship with the Green Bay Packers to Kathy Griffin dating Mike Pence. Cowherd's mind is truly unique and should be the subject of study in future sports media classes for years to come.

And he was cooking on Thursday. Watching the master at work is always an experience as your brain bends in ways it never has to connect the insane array of dots Cowherd lays out for the audience. First he compared the Big Ten to a highway on which Jim Harbaugh is driving a lot faster than everyone else, which made about as much sense as it seems.

The fine details here are actually a rare miss from Cowherd. In every universe to exist, Jim Harbaugh is a Prius man through and through. No shot he's burning his hard-earned dough on a car if he won't upgrade his khaki selection.

Anyway, Cowherd was just getting started. Next he said the Jordan Love experience was like a very long second date after the first didn't go great.

Something about the Packers really twists Cowherd's brain into a pretzel. He put the finishing touches on the afternoon by getting into the world of baking.

Just silly stuff. I wonder if this is how he talks to his family. Dinner with Colin probably gets aggravating after the eighth metaphor comparing high school drama to a school of fish in a small pond or something.

Everybody should view his takes with a healthy dose of skepticisim because, like anybody in this business who's been doing it long enough, he has a lot of whiffs on the resume. But Cowherd stands out compared to his peers because how he delivers his takes is usually far more interesting than what he actually says. And that, reader, is very rare in a sports media world where copycats of Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless are popping up everywhere. For better and for worse, though, there appears to be only one Colin Cowherd.