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The Choco Taco Didn't Deserve to Die

Kyle Koster
Ian Forsyth/GettyImages
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It's not that the Choco Taco was anything special, but that's sort of the point. For 40 years it was allowed to exist, occasionally delighting someone who would remember eating one in an elementary school cafeteria or notice a picture of a cone-shaped shell on a neighborhood ice cream truck, a relic of the past proving we used to be a proper country. Whenever someone or something passes away we tend to embark on flowery hagiography, though one wonders if it's more impactful to establish the lowest bar possible and work upward. All of this is preamble to say the Choco Taco didn't deserve to die. It didn't deserve to die. And people, already backed up against the wall from blow after crushing blow, deserve better.

"Over the past 2 years, we have experienced an unprecedented spike in demand across our portfolio and have had to make very tough decisions to ensure availability of our full portfolio nationwide," a Klondike Brand representative told CNN Business in an email, adding "we know this may be very disappointing."

With a nod to Ned Beatty in Network, we're not so much mad as hell about the Choco Taco going extinct by choice. We're just sick and tired of having to make very tough decisions. Or worse, having the decisions taken out of our hands.

Klondike built an empire by asking what people would do for their product. How ironic then that they wouldn't fight like hell for the Choco Taco. It doesn't take a genius to see when something is over-leveraged. The mere existence of a shake in a pouch illuminates the commitment to chase waterfalls instead of known rivers and lakes.

It just sucks because the Choco Taco did everything we ever asked of it. Cool wrapper, cool designed and nice crunch. Most importantly, it was a clean and tidy product when there are precious few on-the-go ice cream treats that can be eaten without fear of spillage. The greatest architects have deduced that form should follow function and this item delivered on that formula.

Forty years of service. Of not bothering anyone. And then one day it's over because of the bottom line. One cannot help but see a bit of themselves and the future in this desert being put to out to pasture. We never get the ending we want. The brighter the sunshine, the faster things melt.

Cherish the things you love because they could disappear at any moment.

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