Just Assume Every Viral Marriage Proposal at a Sporting Event Is Fake


Of all the venues and on all the timelines in this universe, Friday night's Boston Celtics-Toronto Raptors game at TD Garden were identified as the most romantic and appropriate for a marriage proposal. One that did not prove successful.

Here is the footage of the incident, which took place near the Raptors bench and, we hate to say it, brimming with red flags to suggest there may be some shenanigans aimed at going viral.

Let's start with the states of undress. The man is in a nice suit and really pulling it off but for some reason could not wait until his date shed a puffy Gortex winter jacket or even sit down. Then the stifling of laughter as she realizes what happens and shakes her head several times. The prolonged stare-down on bended knee that looks like something you'd see in a community theater audition that doesn't earn a callback. And finally, the most crimson red flag of all: the choice to simply sit down and settle in for the third quarter or whatever after such a momentous disaster.

So perhaps this is real and it was a tense, long weekend as two people grappled over the fact one of them wants to spend forever together and the other said "nah." Life is a winding road and one never knows what type of humanity can play out near the team trainers.

But it almost seems at this point that the responsible thing to do with these internet catnip proposal videos is to assume they are being filmed for an entirely different purpose. That they are manufactured until proven otherwise. If that sounds cynical, that's because it is cynical.

Love may not be dead but it always deserves a decent amount of skepticism.