I Have Some Questions About 'The Human Buzz Lightyear That the Toy is Based On'

Kyle Koster
Gerardo Mora/Getty Images

Pixar and Chris Evans have catapulted me into a galaxy brain far, far, away with a preview of upcoming content. Disney is making an origin story movie about Buzz Lightyear called Lightyear. "To be clear," Evans wrote, "this isn’t Buzz Lightyear the toy. This is the origin story of the human Buzz Lightyear that the toy is based on."

This actually changes everything. First and foremost, am I the only one who didn't know that Buzz Lightyear was an actual human that existed in the Toy Story universe? Didn't we all think he was simply a cleverly marketed toy? Are there any clues to suggest this in any of the movies?

Let's try to sort through some facts here. First, we were always led to believe that Toy Story takes place on the same time continuum as the real world. There are several references that ground it in the mid-90s, what with leveraged buyouts of Mattel, the cars, and the pizza-delivery-man-as-stoner trope.

That means the real human version of Lightyear must have performed his exploits well before 1995, as a toy has been produced and gained immense popularity. Those exploits again are being "stationed at the Gamma Quadrant, Sector Four, as an elite Universe Protection Unit. I protect the Galaxy from the Evil Emperor Zurg, sworn enemy of the Galactic Alliance!"

Again, to repeat: in this new world, the people of Earth knew all this. They woke each morning with the sobering reality that, one, we are not alone in the universe, but that there is an Evil Emperor hellbent on raining destruction down upon our galaxy. That's some heavy stuff with which to grapple. It also totally changes the way in which Independence Day is received in theaters.

It also probably means that toys coming to life would have been something mankind could cope with, considering the relatively low stakes compared to the fate of the universe, which was persistently up for grabs.

But anyway. This incredibly named Lightyear rises up the ranks to join this Space Force and does something so heroic that he's known around the world. His life story essentially becomes IP. Does this mean that the makers of the toy also found a way to implant the real Lightyear's personalities in all the models? Does this mean that all versions of a specific toy have identical personalities?

If so, where does Tim Allen's personality come in? Was the human Buzz Lightyear like Allen? Is he actually like Chris Evans? Evans was 14 in 1995. Is this movie simply a sequel to Interstellar?

To the most pressing and mind-bending thought. Given this updated information, it is possible that Buzz Lightyear is Andy's biological father? Please God, say yes.

So many questions. So few answers. And so long until we get them.