Brooklyn Cyclones Are Giving Away Keith Hernandez "Magic Loogie" Bobbleheads on Seinfeld Night

The Brooklyn Cyclones, the Class A New York-Penn League affliate of the New York Mets, are throwing down the gauntlet for best minor league promotion ever(*) on July 5. The team will celebrate the 25th anniversary of Seinfeld that night. They’re giving away special Keith Hernandez “Magic Loogie” bobbleheads.

That’s only the beginning. The Cyclone’s home stadium will be called Vandelay Industries Park and host the following events:

Mailmen in uniform get to throw out a ceremonial first pitch (“Hello Newman!”)
Anyone who has a business card indicating that they are in fact a “Latex Salesman” will also receive a free ticket to the game. If we call the number and it’s some apartment on the Upper East Side, you won’t qualify for the freebie.
Fans can visit the information table for an “airing of grievances.”
Closest to the pin / whale’s blow hole competition (“Is that a Titleist?”)
The foul poles will be known as Festivus Poles.
“Low-Talking” PA Announcer.
Elaine Dancing Contest
Everyone Runs the Bases Post-game…but anyone named Jerry gets a head start (Take that Duncan Meyer).
Game of “Risk” on the Concourse
Cereal eating contests
Anyone named George Costanza will be allowed to join our radio broadcast as a color analyst for an inning
Players in puffy shirts for batting practice.

Depending upon your opinion on Seinfeld — now finally back at 11 p.m. on New York’s WPIX! — this is either the greatest thing ever or the dumbest thing you’ve ever read. It certainly puts all those other minor league teams wearing Star Wars-inspired jerseys for May the Fourth Day to shame. (Requisite: not that there’s anything wrong with it, joke.) Perhaps my only minor quibble is there isn’t any specific event celebrating Keith Hernandez’s mustache.

It would have been fun, too, had the players played the game in uniforms highlighting Jerry’s timeless fashion sense. Oh well.

(*) Nickel/Dollar beer nights notwitstanding.