A lot has been made about the Super Bowl line -- which has the wrong team favored -- but the money needs to be spent elsewhere. It's the prop bets that separate the rich from the poor. And here is how you should be spending your money.
*All lines from CBS Sports.*
Patrick Mahomes passing yards - Over/Under 305.5.
Over. Sure, a reasonable explanation for this bet would be that Mahomes is an alien who not even the Outsider/El Coco could halt (if you don't get this, just LOL). But it's also because, as Pat McAfee says, the 49ers are full of savages. Thus Mahomes will need to throw about five times the amount Garoppolo did in the NFC Championship Game, and four times the number of wings one orders, for the Chiefs to have a chance. (Okay, since not many people are watching my new favorite show, The Outsider, change that reference to Pennywise the Dancing Clown.)
How long will it take for Demi Lovato to sing the national anthem? Over 2 minutes -220, Under 2 minutes +180.
Give me the over again. Not because I don't think Demi can get it done quickly, but because it's a power move to take up time. And Demi is a superstar who we all wait for.
Which team will score first? 49ers -110, Chiefs -110.
Oh, I'm all for the Niners here at -110. Have you seen the effort (if that is what we are calling it) and lack of interest the Chiefs' defense has been playing with in the opening possessions of the playoffs? I also think the first touchdown will be a hater-silencer to the vicious anti-Jimmy G crowd. Looking at you, meme-makers.
Longest touchdown of game: Over 44.5 yards -110, Under 44.5 yards -110.
Going over again. Mostly because I think Mahomes is more accurate from 44.5-plus yards than he is from .5. And Tyreek Hill runs those 44.5 yards faster than Richard Sherman runs 20. Not to say there will be man-to-man coverage this Sunday...
Which song will Jennifer Lopez sing first at halftime? Get Right -400, Anything else +300.
Alicia Keys has me rooting for underdogs. +300 here with the hope we get "On The Floor."
Will Frank Clark record a sack? Yes -120, No +100.
He better. You can't have that big of a mouth and not have that big of a game. Regardless, I'm going with the "No."
Jimmy Garoppolo passing yards: Over 239.5 -110, Under 239.5 -110.
He could do it in eight, he could do it in 10, or maybe even 15. But he's getting 240 yards come Sunday. Over.
Will opening kickoff be a touchback? Yes -150, No +130.
Yes, you have one job.
Who will be named Super Bowl LIV MVP?
I may be starting to sound like a Jimmy G fanboy, or an irrational stan, or even a burner account, but I'm going with The G. Who, by the way, would become a three-time Super Bowl champion if I'm correct. For those counting, that'd be only three away from Tom Brady.
Bonus non-prop bet advice:
The best Super Bowl dish is nachos dipped in even more cheese. You're welcome.