Ben Simmons' return to the Philadelphia 76ers now ranks somewhere alongside the Titanic, the Hindenburg, the 1906 San Francisco earthquake and the 2011 Philadelphia Eagles on the list of the greatest disasters of all time.
On Tuesday, Simmons was kicked out of practice and suspended one game for conduct detrimental to the team. As soon as that happened, a cascade of information followed that made it clear Simmons is miserable in Philly, and the Sixers are miserable when he's around. It was an avalanche that was hilarious and completely expected. Like Belloq staring at the Ark of the Covenant, I couldn't stop watching and screaming "it's beautiful!" as more drama poured forth from Philadelphia.
Here's the timeline of what was released so you can relive it in all its glory:
In the midst of all that, Joel Embiid climbed the top rope and delivered an elbow drop from hell:
I'm literally fanning myself right now. That was amazing. Cue the Kylo Ren "More!" GIF. Then inject it directly into my veins.
We all got into this business because we love sports. We love the competition, the camaraderie, the intensity and the big moments that keep us coming back. But, let's be real, more than anything we love the drama. And good lord does the NBA deliver at every turn.