Ben Simmons Is a Mystery Bubble Wrapped Inside a Fragile Enigma

Milwaukee Bucks v Brooklyn Nets
Milwaukee Bucks v Brooklyn Nets / Al Bello/GettyImages
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Ben Simmons is one of the greatest mysteries in the NBA right now. As well as one of the best comedies. Every day there are new reports about how close Simmons is to making his Brooklyn Nets debut, yet there's no real indication he's any closer to playing for the Nets than he was to playing for the 76ers this season. On Saturday the press witnessed the weirdest flex yet from Simmons as he told the assembled media to "make sure you get this" before he executed a slam dunk.

Here's the actual dunk.

Two feet. One hand. Not the most impressive thing you'll see on a basketball court from a 6-foot-11 guy. Maybe this was that trademark Australian sense of humor shining through for the first time in a long time. Or maybe he was seriously trying to show the ability to make a basket from the same spot where he famously passed up a shot that could have won the Sixers that series against the Atlanta Hawks last spring. There is literally no way to tell the source of this Stuart Larkin vibe.

So he can dunk. Does that mean he's close to returning? It doesn't appear that anyone knows. Yesterday there was a story in the New York Post with the title "NBA playoff schedule did Nets ‘huge’ Ben Simmons return favor." Here's what a source told the Post.

“The NBA did us a huge favor,” the source told The Post. “There’s like 10 days in there [to recover].”

Ten days.

Simmons last played basketball competitively on June 20, 2021, and an extra 10 days is going to make a difference? Sure. Keep in mind that on Friday, ESPN's Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted that Simmons was "expected" to start practicing at some point.

Of course, he has yet to play one-on-one. Or experience any contact. And while he's running, he hasn't sprinted. As recently as three days ago Steve Nash had no clue if he would play this postseason.

Hope that clears everything up.