One of the most important and contentious debates in all of pop culturedom every year is What Is the Song of the Summer? The Song of the Summer defines a time and place. For the rest of your life just hearing a snippet of that tune will transport you back to ... that magical thing you were doing at that time.
This year there is only one answer to that question and it's so obvious that all the other musicians who have released music recently have basically wasted their time. They should have saved those bangers for 2023 because 2022 is all about a damn pirate party.
What is the 2022 Song of the Summer?
Folks, if you are unfamiliar with Alestorm, like I was approximately 15 days ago, let me tell you about pirate metal. Basically, it's metal music, but about pirates. And Alestorm invented and perfected it. On their latest album they have the ultimate Song of the Summer: P.A.R.T.Y.
Avast! Give it a listen before you continue.
Who is Alestorm?
The group is from Scotland and I've been to Scotland multiple times since Alestorm started making music and the fact that this isn't the only thing anyone over there was ever talking about is shocking. When I was in college there was an incredible local band called The Mathematicians and their entire thing was that they were nerds and they absolutely kicked the shit out of their instruments during their shows and it was the first thing I told anyone about whenever I met someone. That is how the Scots should be discussing pirate metal: nonstop.
Alestorm has been around since 2006 and they released their first album in 2008. They have seven albums including their latest release, Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum, which just came out last month and features the aforementioned song of the summer, P.A.R.T.Y.
Anyway, pirate metal. Since I was introduced to it two weeks ago I haven't been able to stop listening. Alestorm is like if Iron Maiden was heavily influenced by Europe and 1980's video game title screens and they only sang about adventures on the Seven Seas. It's just high energy metal, but with a pirate them. Just watch this cover of Taio Cruz's 'Hangover.'
Tell me that doesn't sound like a band you want to have blasting out of any and all nearby speakers. Do you know how good you have to be to make a whole career out of a pirate gimmick? Jon Taffer would have tried to shut that shit down immediately. The only real danger is having the pirate stuff leak into your everyday life, which I will deal with when the time comes. For now though? Pirate Party.