MMA Fighter Breaks Penis While Having Sex With Girlfriend in Malaysia
Ray Elbe appeared on the 9th season of The Ultimate Fighter (Team USA vs. Team UK), but lost in the first round and didn’t even get to move into the house. That sucks for a guy who wants to make the UFC, but in the grand scheme of things, it is not so bad. To name one thing that has happened to Ray Elbe that is worse than losing a fight on The Ultimate Fighter, he recently snapped his penis in half while having sex.
Bloody Elbow culled Elbe’s posts from MixedMartialArts.com and oh god I have to write the rest of this post with my eyes closed…
Girl was on top… Went higher than 8 1/2″ I’m the air and Arona’d my dyck.
Dr. Is sending me for ultra sound now…stuck waiting for the dyk specialist.
When it first happened…blood was everywhere…to the point I passed out.
Falling face first I ko’d myself on the floor–very smally chipping two teeth and busting my chin–
10 stitches later…
My dyck is throbbing with each heart beat…but after the pain injection they’ve given me…the balls ache is gone
No open fracture.
Dr just did MRI.
Fracture and a slight tear in the urinary tube.
Surgery tonight…Dr. Said diagnostic is for a full recovery…though I’ll be in the hospital for 3 days…and be forced to take anti erection pills for 2 weeks
There is a lot more. So much more, but I’ll leave you with the happy news that Elbe has since been released from the hospital.
[Bloody Elbow, Busted Coverage]
I just want you all to know that I have intentionally ignored this story since it first appeared online Saturday. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I can barely look at my computer screen while I scrolled through the source material for this post. I had to put on Love Actually to counteract just how uncomfortable this story makes me.
Seriously, I’m sorry for this. Here is a clip from Love Actually to cleanse your palate.
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December 18th, 2012 at 4:03 PM
I’ve avoided reading this the past couple days, but decided to give it a shot since it was a CRM joint. I am never reading a broken penis story again.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Looks like this dudes penis….
/sunglasses
…. has been snapped.
//YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
///I’m I doing it right?
December 18th, 2012 at 4:07 PM
I call this guy John Wayne Bobbit! Cause he’s half the man he used to be!!
/Gruden’d
//still hurting from reading it
December 18th, 2012 at 4:09 PM
Chuck Negron laughs at this.
Specifically:
Chuck Negron, on the other hand, presumably experiencing an entirely new plane of reality with the helping hand of massive amounts of cocaine, worked his crank with so many women and with such drug-fuelled ferocity that a doctor told him it had become the tumescent equivalent of a lucky pair of boxers. Sure you want to keep using it, but the edges are frayed and the material holding it together is mostly made up of your hopes and prayers more than any real atomic bonds. One more tumble through the wash and she’s done for…But like any addict, or man with a penis for that matter, Negron couldn’t resist. Unofficial sources say Chuck was working his magic on a Miss America contestant when his wand broke, so to speak. According to one blogger’s account of his meeting with Negron, the words “a hot dog in the microwave” were used as a description.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:09 PM
This is just funny. The rest is tragic, but this cracked me up.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:10 PM
From the Busted Coverage link… that girl looks like… fun. She could break my penis any day. I read an article a few years back and the guy said the pain is so intense you blackout. Jesus.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:11 PM
oh good lord, that was horrible.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:12 PM
he should post pics over at r/spacedicks on reddit
/DO NOT GO THERE, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
//I REPEAT; DON’T GO THERE!!
//IT CAN’T BE UNSEEN!!!!
December 18th, 2012 at 4:14 PM
cool of the bad guy from Karate Kid II to photobomb in that top photo.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:15 PM
Aww, I am watching this tonight too!
December 18th, 2012 at 4:17 PM
Please clarify. Did it rip in half? Is that the blood?
December 18th, 2012 at 4:17 PM
/imagines there’s only one way to break your dick, but has no idea what this terminology means
December 18th, 2012 at 4:20 PM
I don’t get the “Arona’d” line either, but I assume she was bouncing on his johnson, bounced too high and came down a cm or so to the left or right AAAAND SNAP!!
December 18th, 2012 at 4:25 PM
That dude’s such a fuck…never rub another man’s rhubarb
December 18th, 2012 at 4:26 PM
Urban legend.
MMA fighters cannot have 8 1/2-inch dicks, as all the steroids they ingest would shrink that peen down to about 2 inches.
/ Bonds’d
December 18th, 2012 at 4:27 PM
I hope there is no video of this roaming the Internet, or it might appear in the Friday Roundup alongside animal-death and Russian-dashcam/deathcam videos.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:29 PM
I’m not kidding when I say that breaking my dick is my greatest fear.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:30 PM
It definitely crosses my mind during the no pants dance.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:32 PM
we’ve all had that close call, where you know you got lucky.
/”lucky” you didn’t break your dick lucky
December 18th, 2012 at 4:32 PM
Hell, save your money and just watch Oprah or reruns of Roseanne for the two weeks instead.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:33 PM
So fucked up that this is true. It makes me cringe thinking about the what if
December 18th, 2012 at 4:34 PM
mine’s the government taking away my assault rifle…excuse me…assault rifles.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:35 PM
This is precisely why God (read: nature) intended for man to be the fucker, and woman the fuckee
December 18th, 2012 at 4:36 PM
mine’s the government taking away my assault rifle…excuse me…assault rifles.
Whoooohooooo!!!!
/indiscriminately fires bazooka, excuse me, bazookas in the air in celebration.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:37 PM
The first time I ever heard about something like this was from a friend in college who had the same thing happen to him in High School. I didn’t believe him until he called up his ex and she confirmed everything and it is true you literally black out because the ex also added that after it happened she had to wake up his mom to bring him to the hospital because he was unconscious.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:37 PM
http://jalopnik.com/5969514/the-craziest-russian-dash-cam-videos-of-2012/gallery/1
December 18th, 2012 at 4:37 PM
This is precisely why God (read: nature) intended for man to be the fucker, and woman the fuckee
Htown, thoughts on this?
December 18th, 2012 at 4:43 PM
http://jalopnik.com/5969514/the-craziest-russian-dash-cam-videos-of-2012/gallery/1
December 18th, 2012 at 4:44 PM
hahah fuck, that link didnt work. KC – I went and watched every one of those videos, and the cow one is by far my favorite.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:50 PM
hahah fuck, that link didnt work. KC – I went and watched every one of those videos, and the cow one is by far my favorite.
I would love to know why everyone in Russia has a dash cam. Is it required? And, holy shit, those people can not drive.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:52 PM
I would love to know why everyone in Russia has a dash cam. Is it required? And, holy shit, those people can not drive.
I was reading that because cops are so corrupt, roads are so bad, and insurance agencies so unwilling to pay out benefits, the dash cam has become a great way for Russians to prove exactly what happened in an accident.
December 18th, 2012 at 4:55 PM
Gives new meaning to Certified Dick Wrecker.
December 18th, 2012 at 5:01 PM
i still can’t read it.
December 18th, 2012 at 9:42 PM
I’m confused and most of what he said makes no medical sense. And most of the comments don’t do much better. I have no idea what happened to this dude, except that I’m going to be extra careful from now on.
/hurt my hip having sex last week
//feels like a total loser for that
December 18th, 2012 at 9:45 PM
I really hope Alex Trebek’s Penis Mightier works.