Elin Nordegren is Single Again
All, Tiger Woods Affair, WAG May 17th. 2012, 1:32pm
Elin Nordegren, Tiger Woods’ ex-wife, is single again. Apparently, Elin has been single for months, having broken up with her boyfriend back in January.
Nordegren, who lives with her two children in North Palm Beach, Fla., is a part-time college student working on her psychology degree while overseeing construction of a new ocean-front home for her family.
You may remember Elin tore down a $12 million home so she could oversee the construction of a new home. She’s doing that with the $100 million she took from Tiger in their divorce. You have to appreciate her going back to school. Any guy in her classes who is not hitting on her like Steve Urkel going after Laura Winslow is doing it wrong.
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May 17th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
So, Elin, you want to go to the Campus Center after class and get a sandwich or something? My parents just loaded my student card up, so I’ll treat.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:41 PM
She really is super duper hot. Oh and fuck Finland. Scored with 8 seconds left in regulation to defeat USA. Go back to Edmonton Jeff Petry.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:42 PM
She’s loving every minute of this
I would have thought twice about slingin my dong around after looking at that 3rd picture.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:44 PM
Sweet mercy that 3 picture. Makes you wanna slap your pappy
May 17th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Here’s how a typical Memphian would approach her:
Me: “Hello, darlin’. Lookin’ gooood, baby girl.”
EN: “Oh, hi SROD. How you doin’?”
Me: “I’m good, honey. Hey, lemme holla at ya for a minute. Look, I ain’t here for your money. I’m here to give you love, sugar.”
EN: “Oh, SROD…”
Me: “Yeah, and uh…one more thing. Can you let me hold $50? I got this sure thing down at the dog track, and you know…”
May 17th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
“So, if you come to the party at my fraternity house, you can totally drink from the brothers’ keg.”
May 17th, 2012 at 1:46 PM
what’s a 10 for us is a tiger 2…well, unless a real life 2 is bringing you a plate of home fries while on the rag.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:47 PM
She is majoring in psychology? Why does she want to be a barista?
May 17th, 2012 at 1:47 PM
SROD, spitting tea out on that last line. Well done.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:48 PM
today on cold call mondays…ELIN NORDEGREN!!!
TBL: hi, miss nordegren, this is jason mcintyre with the big lead.
elin: howd you get this number?
TBL: how’s this for a number…low seven figures.
elin: smaller than low nine figures.
TBL: …
elin: /menacingly cradles 9 iron
TBL: so, send pics of tiger’s cock to anyone?
May 17th, 2012 at 1:49 PM
spencer, I’m in tears ovah here. Ha!
May 17th, 2012 at 1:51 PM
“I took the liberty of arranging our pre-nuptial agreements before we banged and would like to take this moment to let you know that I hate golf and tiger woods hates me from an incident at the 2006 Waste Management tournament. I also have vodka”
May 17th, 2012 at 1:53 PM
i wish cold call mondays were a real thing. can’t we just have CRM or hernia do it?
May 17th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Yep. Just can’t understand what the hell was going on with Tiger. I look at that third picture and I just can’t imagine a woman looking better.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:55 PM
“Hey sugar tits, I’m white, poor and suck at golf”
/Stupid like a fox
May 17th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Gold digger.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:56 PM
to be fair, tiger didn’t have to imagine her without photoshop and airbrushing and optimal lighting conditions.
i still maintain that she took tiger’s v-card and it wasn’t until he had a decade of superstardom under his belt that he realized how much punanny he was missing until it was too late.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:58 PM
She is majoring in psychology? Why does she want to be a barista?
Or a lock to be in Human Resources.
May 17th, 2012 at 1:59 PM
I wish elinwoods would come back and comment on this story.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:02 PM
Hang on! Send single Elin over here, immediately! Wait wait wait wait. Tell her I love her…but that I’m a man and I gotta be free so she’s gotta be responsible for birth control. Daddy’s gettin’ some pudding tonight!
May 17th, 2012 at 2:05 PM
so…golf related threadjack.
who’s everyone got in the US Open?
May 17th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
aaaahgh! she has short fingers!
she may have to wait in line for me
May 17th, 2012 at 2:07 PM
Ivan Lendl
May 17th, 2012 at 2:08 PM
Ivan Lendl
Guy Forget
May 17th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
dumbass…this is totally borg’s year.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:09 PM
For enough money, I’ll throw golf balls at whoever you would like to see lose.
/Four-day passes for me and a buddy.
//Fuck. Yes.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
who’s everyone got in the US Open?
AJ Foyt.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:10 PM
he doesn’t stand much of a chance because of his horrible ballstriking to begin with, but id prefer ian poulter have even less of one.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:12 PM
@spencer: I have it on good authority that Tiger was creepin’ on girls in nightclubs long before Ms. Nordegren entered the picture. Back in the late 90s he would go to all the “hot” NYC nightclubs. He got what he wanted for a long time. I also have it on good authority that he was as awkward as you might expect.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:13 PM
my theory = bunk removed
May 17th, 2012 at 2:14 PM
I’m absolutely on board with this. Poulter can eat a dick.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:16 PM
that third pic makes me wanna go bone a perkins waitress.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:17 PM
I also have it on good authority that he was as awkward as you might expect
so, running with this, if he was awkward and not as famous or rich then, how did he score? ladies, is tiger hot?
May 17th, 2012 at 2:18 PM
Fuzzy Zoeller
May 17th, 2012 at 2:20 PM
The look on her face in the third pic says ‘how dare you take your cock out…wait a minute, not bad…’
May 17th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Jimmy Likes Elin
May 17th, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Moe Norman
May 17th, 2012 at 2:22 PM
I would like to right all her wrongs.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
who’s everyone got in the US Open?
Why not Bubba Watson?
May 17th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
/high five
May 17th, 2012 at 2:23 PM
Totally forgot it was here in SF this year.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:24 PM
one reason.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:25 PM
He can’t hook a ball 40 yards out of US Open rough.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:25 PM
No. $$$$$$
May 17th, 2012 at 2:27 PM
I like Bubba. But after he won the Master’s his mug was everywhere. The dude didn’t even play in the fucking Players. Golf is on the back burner.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:27 PM
You forgot the part where TBL asks if she wants a ticket to the gun show.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:27 PM
If you would, give me a handful of places/neighborhood/area to make a drunken ass out of myself, preferably close to the course. Not looking for any talent necessarily, mostly a place to get drunk while shooting pool, darts, decent music, etc.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:28 PM
one reason.
That’s a good reason. Live your life, Bubba.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:28 PM
Nothing good is going to come of this.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:29 PM
And the part where he complains about the commenters.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:31 PM
I would have gone with “Terraces”.
/high fives St. Bear
May 17th, 2012 at 2:33 PM
The purpose of the retweet is the mysterty to me. ‘Look, I got a tweet from someone else who doesn’t like the commenters! See, you assholes!’
May 17th, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Is that some sort of beekeeper terminology? If so, please refrain from using it in the future.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
How the porn industry has not turned this whole story into a parody, I do not understand. It’s not as though there aren’t any vapid, Swedish blondes and black guys in porn.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:35 PM
I will absolutely insert my terminology when and where I see fit.
/Proofreader! I need a proofreader!
May 17th, 2012 at 2:36 PM
I think they have.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:39 PM
No. $$$$$$
was he rich in late 90s? doubt ladies would research his earning potential at Club Ho as he derped his way through a pickup routine
May 17th, 2012 at 2:40 PM
rumors abound that his daddy was being paid six figures by titleist while tiger was an amateur. under the table stuff.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
The course itself isn’t anywhere close to the city of SF, it’s part of SF in name only. The city it’s closest to is Daly City and you don’t want to go there, and there’s nothing there anyway. The Marina district has some nice places but it’s also heavily populated by the stereotypical douches. The Mission district has more music/pool/darts/divey places to go. Union Square is a good area to go for shopping and dining during the day and North Beach area has amazing Italian food. Steps of Rome and The Stinking Rose are heavily recommended for dinner.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:42 PM
The dude didn’t even play in the fucking Players. Golf is on the back burner.
why can’t he live his life the way you want him to?
May 17th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Check this out Ben, see what I mean?
May 17th, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Thanks, gives me some places to drunkenly research the night before.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:45 PM
rumors abound that his daddy was being paid six figures by titleist while tiger was an amateur. under the table stuff.
if he used this as a pickup line, no wonder he is an awkward legend
May 17th, 2012 at 2:46 PM
Yeah, I knew it was definitely out of the way, just didn’t know where to aim once the day at the course was over.
I don’t think it was a recommendation, just a point that if he didn’t play the Players, he’s not that interested right now.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:47 PM
the question wasn’t “do you like bubba watson” it was “why can’t bubba win the US Open?”
it’s hard to win the most grueling test in golf if you’re not playing a lot of golf.
May 17th, 2012 at 2:50 PM
The Mission district has more music/pool/darts/divey places to go.
also, many gay people and art galleries
/sf is my hometown
//clinton park avenue and mission dolores, represent!
May 17th, 2012 at 2:53 PM
who’s everyone got in the US Open?
Jason Day
May 17th, 2012 at 2:54 PM
the question wasn’t “do you like bubba watson” it was “why can’t bubba win the US Open?”
it’s hard to win the most grueling test in golf if you’re not playing a lot of golf.
unless there’s a lot of sponsor pressure, maybe this guy just isn’t interested in being a GOAT candidate. seems like since we’ve focused so much on Tiger and his chase of Jack, that no one has bothered to wonder if any other contemporary golfer is a candidate. only mickelson right now, right, and he’s just in the photo
May 17th, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Give me Figjam
May 17th, 2012 at 3:03 PM
Mickelson isn’t in the conversation for the GOAT anymore. not really sure if he ever was.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:04 PM
who’s everyone got in the US Open?
Fuckstick Jones
May 17th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
you serious?
May 17th, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Hell no. I’m not sure who to back yet. Thinking Donald.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
nobody’s in the conversation, no young golfer with a ton of potential has a chance of even getting to 10, let alone 18.
and yes, tiger’s obsessed with being the GOAT…he had a magazine cutout of jack’s 18 majors on his wall growing up. it’s success or failure will be his defining legacy.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:07 PM
but you see what i’m getting at ark…we just assumed for so long that with Tiger’s drive and talent that it was inevitable that he would be GOAT. now, there’s a lot of talent but anyone with the throat-cutting drive? it’s not strange to me that a guy would win several times in a sport that pays well to finish top 10, have a nice life away from the course, pick and choose where he wants to play, without a need or goal of being considered one of the best ever.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:08 PM
yea…he’s one of my favorites heading towards olympic too. mahan might be my official pick tho.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:11 PM
it’s success or failure will be his defining legacy.
and once again, genius gets in bed with weird/destructive social behavior
May 17th, 2012 at 3:12 PM
Also tempted to look into Westwood for the US Open. He’s certainly long enough off the tee, and he’s been good this year. Might be his turn.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:13 PM
FIGJAM is the best nickname in sports.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
that guy will get passed up if he coasts (hint hint, bubba)…just look at anthony kim. all the talent in the world, got wrapped up in the lifestyle and is now fighting for his Tour card.
if everyone has money, the only way to separate yourself from the pack is with wins. it’s why rory and rickie fowler get criticized so much…almost like they don’t care about winning.
but to say there’s no throat cutting is preposterous…watch matt kuchar’s round on sunday at the players. dude was smiling the whole time as he was putting his foot on the fields’ throat.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
This time last year? Absolutely. Right Now? No Way.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:15 PM
i still like alex “baby hands” smith.
his putter on those greens scare the life out of me, otherwise id agree.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:16 PM
what the hell happened? he looked like a world beater last year.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:17 PM
The guy was literally laughing on the first tee Sunday before his tee shot.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:19 PM
he knew what he was going to do to na already.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:20 PM
what’s it stand for again, plsk?
May 17th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
“Fuck I’m Great, Just Ask Me”
May 17th, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Kuchar seems like a guy that would be fun as hell to play golf with. never heard anyone say a sour word about him, just seems to be living it up.
I wish Day would get it back together. I really like watching that dude play when he is on. He hasn’t done squat this year on Sa-Su. when he even makes the cut.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:26 PM
but to say there’s no throat cutting is preposterous
i know glf ain’t my thing, but i did ask the question not state it. i’m real careful when i’m in a strange neighborhood
May 17th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
I always pull for Kooch. Guy loves Golf.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
oh, ok…misinterpreted on my end.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
and table tennis, apparently.
May 17th, 2012 at 3:34 PM
and besides isn’t laughing at the first tee a sign of super confidence? not necessarily i’m gonna wax your ass, but wow do i feel good today?
May 17th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
yea…unless it’s a nervous “get me the fuck out of here” laugh.