College Football 2011 All-American Team
It’s that time of year again, where we try to assess the college football regular season.
QB: Robert Griffin III [Baylor] No. 1 rated passer in the country. No one else would have had Baylor eligible for a BCS bowl.
RB: Trent Richardson [Alabama] Ran by people and ran through them.
RB: Montee Ball [Wisconsin] 295 touches for 2,014 yards and 38 total touchdowns. He had at least two touchdowns in every game.
WR: Ryan Broyles [Oklahoma] Effect of his absence on Landry Jones was startling.
WR: Justin Blackmon [Oklahoma State] 113 catches for 1336 yards and 15 TD. Kind of a big deal.
TE: Coby Fleener [Stanford] 10 touchdown catches. Andrew Luck’s favorite target.
OL: Barrett Jones [Alabama] Moved over to left tackle and anchored a dominant Alabama offensive line. Also has a 4.0 and is a better than average human being.
OL: Kevin Zetiler [Wisconsin] Wisconsin lost three starters to the NFL and didn’t miss a beat.
OL: David DeCastro [Stanford] Dominant run-blocker. Made up for a lot of inexperience on Stanford’s offensive line.
OL: Matt Kalil [USC] Best left tackle in the country. Top 5 NFL Draft Pick.
C: David Molk [Michigan] Michigan man. Effective amidst two massive offensive line transitions. Head butts freshmen to calm himself before games.
DL: Jerel Worthy [Michigan State] A perpetual issue for opponents. Reason Michigan State had one of the best defenses in the country.
DL: Devon Still [Penn State] Penn State won nine games with no perceptible offense. Thank this man and his 17 tackles for loss.
DL: Melvin Ingram [South Carolina] Best player one of CFB’s best defensive lines. 13.5 tackles for loss, 8.5 sacks. Also scored three touchdowns.
DL: Whitney Mercilus [Illinois] Score one for nominal determinism. Led the nation in sacks and forced fumbles. Beast.
LB: Jarvis Jones [Georgia] Developed into elite pass rusher this year after transferring from USC. 13.5 sacks through his final 10 games.
LB: Luke Kuechly [Boston College] Has the proverbial nose for the ball. He had one game with fewer than 10 tackles (9 against Miami).
LB: Courtney Upshaw [Alabama] 270lbs. Moves like a man 30lbs lighter. 8.5 sacks for maybe the best defense in the country.
DB: Tyrann Mathieu [LSU] Defense, Special Teams. The Honey Badger just makes plays.
DB: Morris Claibourne [LSU] Best cover corner in the country.
DB: Mark Barron [Alabama] Recovered from injury and off-field issues. Consummate leader.
DB: Dre Kirkpatrick [Alabama] Lived up to his billing. Best cover guy on nation’s best pass defense has to be worth something.
[Photos via Getty]

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43 Responses to “College Football 2011 All-American Team”
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December 13th, 2011 at 4:47 PM
C: Peter Konz [Wisconsin]
December 13th, 2011 at 4:50 PM
Vontaze?
December 13th, 2011 at 4:52 PM
The number of draft picks from the Bama/LSU defenses is going to be startling.
December 13th, 2011 at 4:53 PM
DB: Dre Kirkpatrick [Alabama] Lied up to his billing.
That’s quite a feat.
December 13th, 2011 at 4:54 PM
LB Lavonte David, Nebraska
Pre-season All-American, did nothing during the season to change that
December 13th, 2011 at 4:56 PM
OT: I’ve never heard of this Finnish lass Tuuli Shipster, but wowzers.
NSFW
December 13th, 2011 at 4:58 PM
Baylor wr Kendall wright should have got it over broyles.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:00 PM
I knew there would be a Michigan player on the list.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:01 PM
A non-sarcastic applause for Duffy not having 12 on offense and defense like many All-American/All-Pro teams.
Were the top players really at the top schools? This looks like you basically made an all-BCS team (plus the random LB from BC)
December 13th, 2011 at 5:02 PM
/emails link to phone
//phone melts
December 13th, 2011 at 5:04 PM
Were the top players really at the top schools? This looks like you basically made an all-BCS team (plus the random LB from BC)
There are schools outside the BCS?
/half the commenters here.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:08 PM
ms… you should have saved that link for the Gloria Allred post.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:09 PM
Wow, the pic right before that one of her all tied up in the rope… WOW
/closes office door
//lowers blinds on door
December 13th, 2011 at 5:10 PM
ms… you should have saved that link for the Gloria Allred post.
It would have gotten lost in the huffiness. Also, I just saw it 15 minutes ago.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:10 PM
/knocks loudly and suddenly on Broccoli Beef’s door
//mood killer
December 13th, 2011 at 5:11 PM
that first picture you linked to made her look like leanne rhymes, which took me a couple pictures to get out of my head.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:13 PM
Why you gotta post the tits like 45 minutes before I can leave?
December 13th, 2011 at 5:13 PM
that first picture you linked to made her look like leanne rhymes, which took me a couple pictures to get out of my head.
I linked the picture I did because I appreciate perkiness.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:13 PM
ONE MINUTE!! HOLD ON!! I’M ON AN IMPORTANT CALL!!
December 13th, 2011 at 5:14 PM
Why you gotta post the tits like 45 minutes before I can leave?
You could go Broc’s route and fire one off in your office, if you have one. Though if he doesn’t have hand sanitizer in there with him, I question his judgment.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:18 PM
I’m stuck going to the sig other’s Christmas party tonight. Firing one off in the office beforehand might make me sleepy when I should be indulging in as much free booze as possible.
No behavior guidelines were given. I can only assume that this means I just can’t get publicly naked. Everything else goes.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:19 PM
Bath and Body Works Midnight Pomegranate hand sanitizer to be exact
December 13th, 2011 at 5:21 PM
No way. It’ll relax you TSAM style, and might provide some extra hair gunk.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:21 PM
PR: Joe Adams, Arkansas.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:29 PM
me and my gf went to hers last friday, which didn’t feature free drinks btw. I told her the one rule to follow is don’t be the drunkest person at your work christmas party, she came close.
and who the fuck doesn’t serve free booze at a christmas party?
December 13th, 2011 at 5:29 PM
Bath and Body Works Midnight Pomegranate hand sanitizer to be exact
Spoken like someone who has no shame about releasing knuckle children while co-workers are only five feet and one wall away.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:30 PM
and who the fuck doesn’t serve free booze at a christmas party?
The same type of people who don’t have an open bar at their wedding.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:32 PM
The smell of it actually attracts a couple of the secretaries that sit by my office like sweet nectar attracts bees.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:34 PM
Our holiday party has been relocated to tents set up in our parking lot the past couple years, but they do still offer free alcohol.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:34 PM
Broc, based on what you’ve shared today and what Mantis Toboggan has shared in the past about jerking it while driving on the highway, I can only conclude that Steelers fans will whip it out any time they feel the need.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:36 PM
you know what I don’t call those people? friends.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:39 PM
If I’m in the mood for music then my bells will be jing-jing-jingling all the way
December 13th, 2011 at 5:42 PM
that’s insane.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:43 PM
Very insane. The only time my stuff gets exposed in a car is if there’s a girl helping me out from the passenger seat.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:44 PM
you know what I don’t call those people? friends.
I’ve been to three weddings among friends in the past three years. Only the first one skimped on the bar, because the bride’s parents were very religious and didn’t like the idea of paying for other people to get drunk. Their solution? No liquor, beer and wine only. And the rehearsal dinner had the dreaded drink tickets. Two free cocktails and that was it. My fiancee and I decided right away that we were going to have a full, open bar. It’s a party afterall.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:48 PM
We had everything we could afford… all drinks for the first hour, then just beer/wine after. We kept raising the limit on the bar tab, but it’s worth it to see everyone have fun. Liquor in just that hour was at least half the cost though, so I highly recommend that as a way to give free alcohol and not put yourself in a tough spot.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:49 PM
I would have loved to give free liquor all night, but we just didn’t have the money. Everyone had an awesome time anyway.
Oh hell no. Though I’m not sure if we paid for beer at ours at all even… I feel like we didn’t, But I provide my friends with plenty of free alcohol, and just bought 5 cases of beer for the party saturday, so they’ll live.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:52 PM
Oh hell no. Though I’m not sure if we paid for beer at ours at all even… I feel like we didn’t, But I provide my friends with plenty of free alcohol, and just bought 5 cases of beer for the party saturday, so they’ll live.
They did have wine for dinner, but they stopped serving it after the main course was under way.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:52 PM
When I was engaged this was the route we were going to take as well. Another idea we were thinking about was offering free beer/wine but making the guests pay for mixed drinks if they wanted those.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:57 PM
We had a pretty informal dinner (southern BBQ, all you can eat pulled pork, ribs, smoked chicken), and I don’t think a lot of people drank anyway (it was early). We had bought tickets to the baseball game that night, and I’d organized a golf outing and 5k run, so it was a pretty full weekend, with lots of stuff to do. I wasn’t too worried about people buying a couple drinks.
If ours was local, and a one-day thing, we’d have paid for more liquor.
December 13th, 2011 at 5:59 PM
We had a pretty informal dinner (southern BBQ, all you can eat pulled pork, ribs, smoked chicken), and I don’t think a lot of people drank anyway (it was early). We had bought tickets to the baseball game that night, and I’d organized a golf outing and 5k run, so it was a pretty full weekend, with lots of stuff to do. I wasn’t too worried about people buying a couple drinks.
When I imagine you and your wife, I imagine the couples I see in the Nature Valley granola bar commercials.
December 13th, 2011 at 6:06 PM
That is a perfect analogy, well said.
December 14th, 2011 at 8:46 PM
I knew there would be a Michigan player on the list.
Fuckin A!