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Which One of You Nerds Told Mark Schlereth About Air Yards?

Kyle Koster
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There are a few important rules of life to remember in order to avoid disaster. You don't play cards with anyone whose name is a state, you don't get involved in a land war in Asia, and you absolutely do not come at Mark Schlereth with pointless stats like "air yards" in an attempt to dissuade him from the idea that Aaron Rodgers should be the NFL MVP. Some nerd found out that last one the hard way and was quickly and thorough put in his place by Stink over the course of a 100-second Twitter video dripping with barbecued common sense.

Imagine thinking Rodgers isn't the MVP because in five games he's totaled fewer than 100 air yards. Back in my day there were only two types of yards: the kind with dirt you stuck your hand into and the kind you fought tooth and nail over in the trenches. Schlereth points out that Rodgers' greatness is evidenced by sublimely accurate and quick throws that do not risk interception. Which is completely correct and will be supported by history showing the Green Bay Packers quarterback revolutionized the way the position is played in terms of valuing possession of the ball.

"Let me tell you when I'll start to consider air yards as something we should look at," Schlereth said. "When they start taking teams' victories away because the other team's quarterback had more air yards. Then I'll start taking your stupid numbers seriously."

As of this morning, such a proposal is not gaining serious traction among the rules committee. Outside of Rob Manfred bizarrely swapping jobs with Roger Goodell, no one should hold their breath thinking it will.