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Trump Lawyer Michael van der Veen: Why Are You All Laughing At Me?

Kyle Koster
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The second impeachment trial of President Donald Trump continues today, though the eventuality of an acquittal is all but certain with Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell announcing he'll decline to convict. Democrats, faced with the option of pushing for witnesses or leaving things be, have opted to press the issue and secured the votes necessary to move the trial into its next phase.

Trump attorney Michael van der Veen would have preferred to wrap this thing up today and warned that if the floodgates to witnesses open, then Vice President Kamala Harris and House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi would have to Amtrak it up to his Philadelphia offices for the depositions. Sorry, PHILLY-delphia offices.

The suggestion garnered a laugh any network sitcom laugh-track would be proud to feature, and it only made van der Veen even more aggrieved.

Now, I'm not a lawyer. But I have watched enough cable news this week to understand there's a bit of a difference between impeachment hearings and a personal injury case. And the order of operations may change just a bit when the issue at hand involves the most powerful people in American politics. On the other hand, one has to respect the attempt to secure more billable hours. Plus, van der Veen knows he's going to win.

Regardless of your idealogical leanings, we can all agree that a good laugh can go a long way in these bleak times. Unity!