Words Cannot Describe How Much I Hate This Toilet Bowl Sugar Concoction

Liam McKeone

I come to you today, dear reader, with heavy thoughts on my mind. Thoughts that have lingered and weighed upon me. Thoughts that cause me to lose sleep. Thoughts caused by this video. This horrifying, awful video.

The video went viral a few days ago. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I do not know the context or the background for this video. I do not know if it is an extremely elaborate attempt at satire. Here it is. You must now join me in this life of misery led after viewing.

I just have no words. No words appropriate for this forum, anyway. From the 10-second mark on I viewed this with a look of sheer horror and the kind of stank face usually reserved to indicate a rapper had spit a fire verse. Just utter disgust.

I just... don't know what to do with myself after seeing this. Easily the worst part is the oohs and ahhs coming from the two participants. They are either Oscar-worthy performers or truly believe that this literal toilet dessert filled with ice and gummy bears and ice cream and so many other horrifying ingredients will be delicious. They even sample it. The woman shoves her hands in there. I mean, what are we DOING here, people!

Since you've reached the end of this blog, you too shall suffer for eternity knowing this exists. I'm sorry and you're welcome.