What's the Least Exciting Thing You Can Use an Eyeball Emoji For?

Kyle Koster
PNC Championship - Final Round
PNC Championship - Final Round / Sam Greenwood/GettyImages
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Tiger and Charlie Woods are playing in the PNC Championship this weekend, providing a chance for us all to watch them share the course. It's something that sounds fun on paper but could sort of lose it's appeal halfway through the three-round tournament. Still, it's something.

Anyway, they showed up for their scheduled tee time this morning. PGA TOUR Champions was there to capture the moment. The official SportsCenter account was there to capture that moment again on their own platform, complete with an eyeball emoji.

Now let's be clear. It's great that people are fired up by this. It takes a miserable person to steal sunshine. At the same time, I can't help but wonder aloud about our shared standard for the eyeball emoji. Because a completely unremarkable 14-second walk by two golfers — even if they are both Woodses — is not something I'd previously equated with a human being's eyes being so stimulated that they grow to three times their normal size like the Grinch's heart.

Does the eyeball emoji just mean "look" now? Where is a 38-year-old person supposed to find this information without risk having the work laptop become physically sad?

There should be some sort of guiding governing body on this type of stuff if we're moving away from complete thoughts. We need an AP Style book for emojis and when they are acceptable. It's the Wild West out there and no on'e speaking the same shared language.

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