This Insane Conspiracy Theory Makes Me Want the Burger More


To be honest with you all, I hadn’t put much thought into venturing out to try one of those Impossible Burger at a fast-food joint, even though meat substitutes are always fun to sample. Some of them are very good and others make you wonder if it’s just some prank with recycled tires serving as Sloppy Faux filling. Makes one look over their shoulder as if early-aughts Dax Sheppard is going to jump out.

After seeing this guy below, apparently named Rick Wiles and full of wild ideas about the world, rant about the evils and terror consuming one will bring upon the human race, I desperately want to change this.

Here’s Rick with a global brain take so startling you’ll need to sit down to, uh, consume it.

Nightmare world! You know what? Sign me up.

Having my DNA changed from a mid-afternoon snack sounds like a lot of fun. Has to be an extreme rush and a cost-effective high.

Don’t get it twisted here. This isn’t native advertising or a pitch for these burgers. But my man here has accomplished the very opposite if his goal was to reduce interest in the foodstuff.