Theo Epstein is stepping down as president of baseball operations for the Chicago Cubs. After winning World Series with the Cubs and Boston Red Sox, Epstein would be right to take some time off to weep if he sees no more worlds to conquer, but in this economy, at just 46 years-old, he needs a job and he can probably have any one he wants in any field. Here are 10 potential destinations for the free agent.
New York Mets President / General Manager
Epstein was making a ton of money running the Cubs and he was worth every penny. For another club to lure him away, they would probably need some very persuasive money and that's exactly what Steve Cohen, the Mets new owner has. If the Mets want to win, Cohen will have to spend and there is no better investment than Epstein if you're trying to build a contending baseball team.
Chicago Bears General Manager
There are reports that Epstein wants a different challenge. So why not go across town and fix the Bears and become a Chicago legend on par with Jordan, Ditka and upside-down pizza? Working with a salary cap alone could be enough of a challenge to entice him to try it.
Chicago Bears Quarterback
Chicago Bears fans would also be on board with this. Mitch Trubisky and Nick Foles are both battling injuries and when they are healthy they haven't been very good either. If one of them doesn't get healthy, Tyler Bray, who has attempted one pass in the NFL since he went undrafted out of Tennessee in 2013, will start their next game against the Packers. Epstein certainly has better options, but do the Bears?
Major League Baseball Commissioner
Coups are having a moment and if Theo wants a tougher job than ending two century-long World Series dry spells, making baseball popular again is just that. Rob Manfred is unpopular and doesn't seem to have a high approval rating from anyone. MLB needs someone with a vision and a passion for the game. If one team can't have Epstein, let every team benefit.
Trump 2024 Campaign Manager
There are rumors that Epstein might have his eyes on Washington. The statement put out by Epstein and Tom Ricketts says that they have been working on his exit from the Cubs for years. That would tend to suggest Ricketts might be pushing him in a certain direction and Ricketts has long been involved with Trump. You know what? Forget I said anything.
Head of Coronavirus Task Force
Epstein's personal politics skew more left so he would be a welcome addition to the president-elect's administration. Barack Obama once joked about putting him in charge of the DNC, but a lot of truth is said in jest. If Epstein wants a real challenge, taking over a kneecapped task force that has been in worse shape than the Mets over the last eight months is the job.
You have to admit, the timing is quite curious.
CEO of Quibi
Quibi isn't shutting down completely until December 1st so we're going to have to hurry, but I'm sure Epstein can turn this around. But before I tell you how, I'm going to need you to turn your computer on its side and come back tomorrow for more details.
Host a Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network
The Ringer Union only wants a couple things - fair wages and more diverse voices on forward-facing content. So that makes Epstein, a white guy with Boston sports ties who will demand a very hefty salary, an obvious hire.
Host the Tonight Show
There are rumors that years ago Epstein had a handshake agreement to host the Tonight Show when Jay Leno retired, but they ended up giving the job to Jimmy Fallon instead. There was even a movie pitched about it. It was sold as sort of a modern retelling of The Late Shift, but movie studios passed when there was confusion about the meaning of the title and heard it had to do with the Boston Red Sox and Jimmy Fallon.