The Movie About FIFA's History Made $607 at the Box Office This Weekend

FIFA spent close to $30 million to produce a movie touting it greatness called United Passions. Tim Roth plays Sepp Blatter and portrays him as some sort of hero. Gerard Depardieu and Sam Neill also star in the would-be hagiography of world soccer’s governing body. The Guardian review called it, “Pure cinematic excrement,” while the New York Times called it “unwatchable.”

Sounds like a great way to spend $10, right?

Turns out the film bombed in the United States this weekend. Bombed isn’t even the right word. The Hollywood Reporter says that on Friday and Saturday the movie pulled in $607 dollars on 10 screens in New York, Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., Phoenix, Kansas City, Miami, Minneapolis, Houston, Dallas and Philadelphia. The report also says the movie made $9 in Phoenix, as in one person bought a ticket.

One.

United Passions doesn’t even show up on the Box Office Mojo account for the weekend, a weekend that saw A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Its Existence rake in $19,000 on two screens.

Give or take the cost of ticket prices and discount matinees, roughly 60 people in the entire country went to see this, which is infinity less than the number of websites that posted John Oliver’s latest rant against FIFA last Monday.

Here’s the trailer.

Stunning, isn’t it? Americans didn’t want to see a movie about how FIFA rose from humble beginnings to become the most important, saintly, organization in the entire world.

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