Milkshake Duck is a term we throw around for any seemingly enjoyable person who is then revealed to have something cancel-worthy in their past. Well, if there was a God-tier Milkshake Duck it would be Ronnie Brunswijk, the Vice President of Suriname, who owns a soccer club and made his CONCACAF debut for that club last night at 60-years old.
Brunswijk played an astounding 54 minutes last night in Inter Moengotapoe's 6-0 loss to Olimpia. Just an astounding feat for a man at that age. When he finally did exit the match, he was replaced by his son. Sure, he's the owner of the club, but that just means he's the one who has to answer to the press if playing himself goes wrong.
That is some real crazy rich guy stuff, but if you do a little Googling, hoo boy is this guy a GUY.
In addition to owning the team, he's also captain. As mentioned above, he's Vice President of his country. A country that he helped take over in a military coup in 1980. After he was discharged from serving under that administration because he wanted a raise, he formed a rebel army and set off a six-year civil war. He was later convicted for trafficking cocaine and currently has a warrant out for his arrest by Interpol.
Brunswijk might have made his professional debut earlier, but he got suspended for maybe threatening players with a handgun and then for abusing a player and official verbally. He also maybe robbed a bank and might have like 50 children according to the New York Times. Imagine being the one kid who gets to be on the soccer team.