Salad Rat Not One of Our Better Rats

Kyle Koster
Rat rankings remain the same.
Rat rankings remain the same. / Stringer/Getty Images

As far as I can tell, Twitter's main functions are to alert people when there's a small earthquake in Los Angeles or if there's inclement weather in New York City. It's also somewhat helpful in spreading information about any feral animals roaming around the MTA while toting human food.

The latest is Salad Rat. Here's what he or she is all about. Spoiler: it's salads.

This rodent has not gone as viral as its pizza-carrying forefather and for good reason. A rat eating pizza is fun. A rat eating a salad is just sort of sad. One thinks of a hungry Feivel gnawing on cabbage while dreaming of a better life with more cheese.

Pizza Rat was the OG, biting off more than it could chew, resonating with the people. Salad rat is about portion control, is aloof, and vain. One could be forgiven for rooting against him. Rooting against pizza rat, though, was unconscionable.

And of course, if you know anything at all about rat content, then you know they are both playing for a distant second behind Sledding Rat. This brave soul is the gold standard by which all subsequent contenders will be judged. Wouldn't be surprised to find out Sledding Rat has several No Fear shirts in the rotation.

Look, am I happy to watch a rat carrying a salad container near some subway tracks? Yes. Extremely happy. But let's not get carried away showering it with praise. It'll be just a short diversion, a shiny object incapable of making a lasting cultural impact like those who came before.