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Sad Cleveland Browns Quarterback Jersey Being Retired for Some Reason

The Cavaliers became the first Cleveland sports team to win a title since 1964 by stunning the Golden State Warriors. On the shores of Lake Erie, people are predictably ecstatic. It must feel as if the curse has been lifted and there will be nothing but blue skies ahead.

While we’re happy for the long-suffering people of Cleveland, it’s also important to point out that some nonsensical behavior is taking place.

Like the owner of the “iconic” Browns quarterback jersey “retiring” the garment.

“It’s a new day in Cleveland,” Tim Brokaw of the advertising agency Brokaw, Inc., wrote in an email (to ESPN). “We want to be a part of that.” …

“Not exactly how we planned it,” Brokaw said. “But after last night’s historic performance, we realized all negative energy and bad juju should be eliminated from The Land.”

Now, you’re probably wondering how a novelty jersey can be retired. Know that you’re not alone.

Obviously, the people of title-starved Cleveland are relieved to finally win some hardware. But just because the basketball team won doesn’t mean any of the stink has been lifted off the Browns franchise. It doesn’t make the diehard Indians fans feel totally better about 1997.

Most three- and four-sport towns revolve around the football team. Cleveland will never be whole until the lowly Browns reach the promised land. Detroit will never truly exhale until the Lions win a Super Bowl. The gaping wound of NFL ineptitude still haunts depressed cities and can’t be bandaged with a few unrelated Band-Aids.