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Sad Birthday Cake Jennifer Lopez Surprised Alex Rodriguez With Eaten By Beat Writers Instead

Jennifer Lopez, who is becoming a regular on ESPN’s Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts, presented Alex Rodriguez with a birthday cake in the booth during a Yankees-Red Sox game at Fenway Park. Sports Illustrated called it “an epic surprise,” but I’m not comfortable enough to go quite that far.

Rodriguez turned 44 on Saturday. Lopez turned 50 on Wednesday. The two are engaged if, for some reason, you didn’t know. ESPN also showed footage of the former slugger dancing at his beau’s soiree and his moves were Kevin James-y.

Anyway, it plainly obvious that the birthday cake that materialized in the booth was not exactly high-end. Just your basic sheet cake with a simple message. There is, of course, nothing wrong with this. It’s just not what you’d expect.

And thanks to some intrepid reporting, we know that neither A-Rod or J. Lo helped themselves to a piece. Instead, it was left out for the beat writers to pick over.

Beat writers will eat anything. Anything left out in a press box will be gobbled up like carrion in the presence of vultures.

Feels like there’s a lesson about the circle of life or food chain in here but some desserts are left undiagnosed.