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Rob Gronkowski Update: What The Actual Heck Is Going On Here?

Rob Gronkowski has slimmed down dramatically in retirement and that’s quieted chatter suggesting the Hall of Fame-bound tight end would make a triumphant return to the New England Patriots should they need his services. Gronk, like all guys who hang up the ol’ hard hat, is actively looking to fill his days and that quest brought him to this moment.

What — and I can’t stress this enough — the actual heck is going on? That first gentleman’s stomach tattoo is the most confounding use of a belly button possible. The second gentleman did nothing to answer any of my questions and, in fact, raised more.

On a different note, drinking Monster Energy Drink while playing basketball is one of the most on-brand things Gronkowski could possibly do.

So at least some things still make sense.

Where will Gronkowski’s retirement bring him next? It would be a fool’s errand to guess.