Popes, Ranked By Ability to Get You a Bucket

Kyle Koster
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Pope Francis today hosted a cadre of NBA players to discuss their work on social justice initiatives. Kyle Korver, Sterling Brown, Jonathan Isaac, Anthony Tolliver, and Marco Belinelli were the starting Vatican five. Michele Roberts, executive director of the players union, was also there.

Jokes aside, this get-together could engender some new and needed conversations, perhaps globally, and certainly challenge people to think about the complex issues in new ways. But jokes included, it's very surprising that Kentavious Caldwell-Pope was not included in the discussion. As a consolation prize, he has the existing knowledge that he's likely the Pope most able to "get you a bucket".

What does the full list look like? Well, let's take a stab at it.

1. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope

2. Mark Pope

3. David Pope

4. St. Bonafice III

5. St. Innocent I

6. St. John Paul II

7. Clement IV

8. St. Hilarius

9. Blessed Urban V

10. Gregory XV

11. Severinus

12. POPEye Jones

13. Pius VI

14. Adrian I

15. St. Sixtus II

16. St. Eusebius

17. St. Cornelius

18. John VI

19. Marinus II

20. Paul VI

Credit to Francis for knowing his strengths and weaknesses. A corner jumper is a liability for him. Management, however, is something with which he's more comfortable. Definitely near the top of the list in terms of popes who could coach you to a road win in the conference semifinals.