Having spoken to a few rodentologists through the years, I am certain that Pizza Rat, of viral fame, is now living up in the Big Subway Station Up in the Sky. And honestly, that's probably for the best because it would hurt his little heart to read this blog and discover he's been supplanted as the nation's premier 'za-scarfing animal.
But ladies and the gentleman, allow me to present Pizza Groundhog. He is just excellent.
There are just certain ballplayers who let the game to them and execute with an intoxicating flair. Pizza Hog is in not in a hurry. He has all the time in the world and every intention of savoring the bountiful riches between his adroit little fingers. Like a defensive back high-stepping into the end zone, he's getting where he wants to go in style, taunting helpless defenders from a safe distance.
Whoever they are trotting out there as Punxsutawney Phil is immediately on the hot seat. We need Pizza Hog out there next February just making a meal out of it.