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Heroic Philadelphia Man Saves Lives, Rips Nelson Agholor

Firefighters and civilians joined forces early this morning in Philadelphia to rescue several children from a fast-moving fire at an apartment building. The blaze broke out around 2 A.M. and was sparked by an air conditioning unit.

Three people were hospitalized with minor injuries. Things could have been a lot worse. Especially when one considers kids were being thrown out of windows to people below tasked with catching them.

One spur-of-the-moment hero described the ordeal through the lens of Philly sports:

"We was catching them, unlike Agholor," he said.

This is perhaps the most savage and brilliant jab possible. Nelson Agholor can't really say anything back because then he's insensitive. It is so petty to go out of one's way to ding a member of the Eagles after saving some lives, but somethings are just bigger than humanity.