Peyton Manning is a Snack

By Stephen Douglas
Peyton Manning takes a peek.
Peyton Manning takes a peek. / Harry How/Getty Images
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Peyton Manning is 44 years-old and has not played a football game in nearly five full years. He has turned down every broadcasting job imaginable and yet he remains a regular part of our lives through his extensive work in the world of advertising, celebrity golf and various other alcohol-related activities. The most surprising thing he has done in the last half decade happened over the weekend when he showed up on a Miami beach with a six pack, not of Budweiser, but of abs.

This is a stark contrast from the most famous photographs of his little brother on the beach. And a shocking reveal that has many people on social media saying things about Peyton Manning that they probably did not when he was walking around every Sunday on national television with a red mark on his forehead from the padding inside his helmet.

This is the kind of transportation we've come to expect from offensive linemen after retirement. Usually they drop a bunch of weight and get in shape, but Manning just appears to have hit the weight room. Or maybe he always looked like this and didn't want to be a distraction. However long he's looked like this, now that we know this is how he looks with his shirt off there is no reason to ever make another commercial without him.

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