Papa John Schnatter is Back in a Big Way

Kyle Koster

When we last left ousted pizza king John Schnatter, creator of the Papa John's franchise, he was boasting about stuffing his gills with 40 pizzas in 30 days, then admitting such a feat exists only in legend. Schnatter's options for a second, post-delivery empire are a bit limited considering the public relations hit he took in the messy and cheesy divorce. But like a cat dropped from any distance, ol' Papa has landed on his feet.

Feast your eyes on some of his new merch, debuted in an arresting TikTok video Friday.

It is absolutely essential to point out that all proceeds go to charity. Schnatter himself donated $1 million to small business trying to recover amid a devastating economic downturn.

All three of these shirts are amazing in their own way. One plays off the idea of the Pope, one on classic Coke, and the final on AC/DC -- and maybe Papa Roach.

That blessed image again is:

Staring at this still and watching the video on loop has honestly transported me to the happiest place I've been in weeks.

It's the little things, people..