'Bachelor' Creator Mike Fleiss Suggests Exciting New Conjugal Visit Idea For Major League Baseball Season

Kyle Koster
Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images

The Los Angeles Times' Bill Shaikin sought out some ideas to make empty-stadium baseball more compelling. He found Mike Fleiss, creator of The Bachelor franchise. Among the nuggets that Fleiss floated and dutifully printed in the newspaper is this incredible time-traveling gambit from a mid-2000s reality television brainstorm session.

"“What you do is, each game, you load up the stadium with their wives, at a distance from them and at a distance from each other, so there is no quarantine violation. The winning team gets to have their wives tested, and then essentially a conjugal visit. You can [film] all the girls. They’re beautiful. They’re in the stands, separated in their own sections or whatever. Those guys are now playing for more than the pride of winning a baseball game. If you go on an eight-game losing streak, that’s not good.”"

LA Times

That idea, again, is to film the beautiful WAGs in the stands and really hammer home the fact that if their husbands' team wins, they'll be able to engage in Major League Baseball-sanctioned copulation. It can't miss! Everyone would definitely on board for this, including the children which have helpfully been "left aside" for the sake of discussion.

Let's be perfectly clear here. I am not going to spend any extra space being performatively outraged here. Plenty of other people will gladly step up to fill that void. It is pretty remarkable that subscribers were able to open up their broadsheets this morning to read such a bold new take for a bold new world.

Ideas likes this are exactly why you're not an elite television producer and the rest of us are sitting on our shabby couches struggling to make sense of saying this on record.