Mike Golic Suggests Joe Burrow Will Take His Nine Inches Elsewhere

Joe Burrow hasn't been as publicly excited about playing football for the Cincinnati Bengals as some would like. This has opened the door to the idea he could pull an Eli Manning and say 'thanks, but no thanks' to the long-suffering franchise.

Mike Golic and Trey Wingo discussed this possibility early this morning in a segment that culminated in the former selecting some downright erotic verbiage to illustrate his point.

"He may say, I'll take my nine inches and go somewhere else," Golic said of Burrow, who has normal, Uncle Jack-sized paws.

As someone similarly endowed to Burrow, I can't tell you how many times in my 20s I told someone to kiss these sweet nine inches goodbye. It's a great way to stick the knife while walking away.

While we're on the topic of hand size, it's worth wondering where we are on the issue. Has public sentiment swung so far toward sarcasm and jokes that the measurable is actually now being undervalued after years and years of being overvalued?

People can say size isn't everything, but deep down we all know it's something.