Filmmaker Billy Corben, who has produced three 30 For 30 documentaries, was flying out of Miami International Airport on Sunday afternoon and happened to have a front-row seat for one of the more harrowing in-terminal brawls a person will ever see. Largely because in-terminal brawls aren't really a thing.
The ugliness ensued after four men were told there were three standby seats available for a flight to Chicago, meaning one of them would have to wait for the next option — pretty much the same situation Kevin McAllister's mom found herself in during Home Alone and Home Alone 2. By the way, after two separate incidents involving leaving a minor to fend for himself against dangerous and deranged criminals, we never really heard too much about CPS' findings into that absent-minded family.
Instead of finding a mildly successful Kenosha-based polka band, these travelers opted to pound the stuffing out of each other despite the thoughtful cries of one onlooker who informed them "this is an airport" and another that warned they'd "get in trouble."
One of the fighters was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, proving that above prophecy correct.
Local media has reaction from those who witnessed the incident and they seem universally bummed out by the whole experience, which seems about right. The airport is supposed to be a place you drop $33 at Hudson News on stuff you don't want and debate whether there's time to use the bathroom before boarding, not be party to a donnybrook fit for a 2004 Yankees-Red Sox game.