You'll Measure Your Life By Time Lived Before You Watched the 'Fatman' Trailer and Whatever Comes After

Kyle Koster

There's no way to prepare you for what you're about to see here, so any typing would be done solely to realize just how far we've all come since the keyboard classes we took in middle school, a memory so far suppressed you're sitting there reeling from the jarring re-emergence. So, uh, Mel Gibson is starring in a movie called Fatman slated to debut December 4.

What's it about, you ask? Well, click the thumbnail image they've selected — of Gibson perhaps reading the controversies section of his Wikipedia with menace — and enjoy the ride. We're at a crossroads on this planet when it comes to preserving our resources, so it may be helpful to share a hypothesis that the entire Northern Hemisphere could run on the weird mental energy expended putting the pieces together.

This may not be one of the best trailers ever created. It may, however, have one of the more memorable experiences. The moment when you find out what this obvious masterpiece is about is an awakening. Like when Dorothy landed on that curly-toed lady in Oz and suddenly life was technicolor instead of monochrome.

I wish I could live that few seconds over again. But happy to make sure as many people as possible do.