Golden Tate is officially a member of the Detroit Lions, signing a five-year deal reportedly worth $31 million with $13.25 million guaranteed.
Perhaps the most important aspect of this news for Lions fans — aside from getting a wide receiver who thrives on getting a first down only to negate said first down by running behind the markers — is Tate’s girlfriend, Elise Pollard. The reason for that is because of Matt Stafford’s girlfriend, Kelly Hall.
Do you follow? No? Well Kelly is pumped to hang out with Elise. Her official quote of “Pumped to have golden Tate..But probably more excited to have his girlfriend! #oowieoowie” was quite … enthralling.
In turn, we find ourselves pumped that Kelly is pumped. And pumped that Lions fans have something to be pumped about.
Here’s Elise again:
Here’s Elise upside down:
Here’s Elise in a “RAGE” hat: