Hello, everyone, and welcome to the TBL comedy cellar. What a beautiful audience we have!
Tonight's special guest is Chris Jones. You probably know him as the 6-foot-6, 310-pound sacking machine for the Kansas City Chiefs, but in his free time he also moonlights as a jokester telling hilarious anecdotes about his upcoming opponent. Chris, take it away.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. What an amazing set! Thanks for stopping by, Chris. You have a real future on your hands here.
For our next act, I present reality.
The Jets are not a good football team. People haven't forgotten who they are. Currently they rank 32nd out of 32 teams in: points per game, yards per game, passing yard per game, yards per play, third-down conversion percentage, red zone scoring percentage, and, let's stop there before we bust a seam on our stomachs from laughing so much at their expense.
And now ladies and gentlemen, our final act, honesty.
Wasn't that nice of Chris Jones to say something positive about the Jets? Honestly, they needed that. What with their head coach, Adam Gase, knowing he will be fired at the end of the year and all of their players wishing the trade rumors about them were true. You gotta feel for that group and for Jones to say something like this, it really warms the heart.
Well, thank you all so much for joining us and have a wonderful night. And remember, you don't have to go home, but you have to try and get the hell out of New York if you're a Jets player.