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'Exorcism at Local Home Depot' Not Nearly as Cool as It Sounds

By Stephen Douglas
A Home Depot.
A Home Depot. / Al Bello/Getty Images
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Last week police were called to a Pennsylvania Home Depot because people were performing an exorcism in the lumber aisle. At least that's what a thousand news reports, blog posts and local news pieces said.

Here's how the Dickson City police Facebook page described the incident.

3:26pm Commerce Blvd. @ Home Depot for disorderly people having an exorcism in the lumber isle for the dead trees. They were escorted out of the building.

That's the long and short of it as there was no other information available.

Police escorted the people involved out of the store without incident. The exorcism was apparently for the trees who died to make the lumber. That's it.

The Philly Voice called the police station and got this statement, which really adds nothing:

"There were two people hanging out in the lumber department doing their little exorcism thing," the officer said. "Some people at the store started picking up that something was happening that was not necessarily normal. Police were called to the store and they were escorted out of the building."

So it sounds like exorcism isn't even the right word. Unless they thought the dead lumber was possessed. The officer also said, "It was a séance type of thing for the dead." With the dead being trees, seance doesn't really make sense either, but I supposed if you wanted to talk to the spirits of dead trees... sure?

Since no one has stepped forward to accept responsibility for this odd, widely-covered story, you have to assume it was just a couple weirdos being weird. Sometimes that's enough for the Internet.

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