Everybody has used this time of quarantine differently. Some (not me) have dedicated themselves to personal fitness. Others (me) have spent an inordinate amount of time engaged in meaningless but immersive activities such as video games. Then there are those like Reddit user JaguarGator9, who dig up old FOX NFL graphics to haunt us.
JaguarGator9 posted FOX's 2004 NFL season kickoff intro last night to the NFL subreddit and it is really something. Check it out:
Good lord. The rising crescendo of his monologue matches perfectly with my growing sense of sheer horror. It is pretty amusing, though, that Jack the Ripster was supposed to be a caricature of an NFL fan, but can now be viewed as a perfect impersonation of your average NFL Twitter user. He would be pleased to find that, in 2020, there are several channels dedicated to talking only about football the entire year.
The names in this bring back some memories, too. Tuna reunited with Vinny Testaverde? Carson Palmer in a Bengals uni? Joe Gibbs? 2004 shouldn't have been that long ago. Yet here we are.
Anyway. Sorry if you have nightmares tonight.