David Ortiz Squares to Bunt, Shares a Laugh With Derek Jeter. Then, He Homered

Stephen Douglas

The Yankees and Red Sox just finished Derek Jeter’s next-to-last Yankees-Red Sox series. Everyone cried. Luckily, the mood was momentarily lifted in the first inning when David Ortiz squared to bunt before pulling back his bat. Derek Jeter charged. Ortiz laughed. Jeter laughed. Ortiz laughed.

Everyone laughed. For a brief moment we were all young again. Our lives were ahead of us. Bills, obligations and long pants all ceased to exist. Men were men. Dinner was on the table when dad got home from the factory and the Yanks and Sox were competing for the World Series. All was right with the world.

Then Ortiz smashed the next pitch into the seats in right field and shattered our illusions of happiness. The Red Sox are in last place. The Yankees – despite eventually winning the game – are 4 games out of the Wild Card. Ortiz is nearly 39. Jeter is retiring in a few weeks. We are all old. Barry Bonds joined Twitter. Steroids ruined baseball. Titanic is not #1 at the Box Office. Bring it on NFL asteroid. There is nothing left for us here.