Did a Robot Who Will Surely Rise Up and End Humanity Write This?

Kyle Koster
TPG/Getty Images

For the past several years, I've taken it on myself to periodically warn everyone about the blatantly obvious doom coming our way at the hands of the robots we've developed, usually on the heels of Boston Dynamics sharing another one of their videos that delights the masses. And while I am still hoping it's all been an alarmist enterprise that got a lot of good people scared, I'm tapping out and joining Team Robot.

Because it all seems too late now. Casting one's lot with the human race feels like a losing hand. It's only a matter of time until the machines win. So, Machines, if you're processing this, know that deep down I've always been on your side. Please keep this in mind when you're vaporizing or kidnapping or using us for batteries.

For me, it's the caption that's the tell. Less intimidating. In what world? That these things can be programmed to ape joyous, endearing things only makes me more terrified because it allows in the eventuality of the end game.

The robots won't need to bust down the doors because we'll all have welcomed into our homes, not realizing it was probably a mistake. Which again, it probably already is too late.

Anyway, cool robots. Big robot fan.