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Dan Campbell's Number One Priority in Detroit Should Be to Reboot SpikeTV's 'Manswers'

By Stephen Douglas
Jan 21, 2021, 2:55 PM EST
Detroit Lions 2007 Headshots
Detroit Lions 2007 Headshots / Getty Images/Getty Images
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Dan Campbell is off to a roaring start in Detroit. His first official act as head coach of the Detroit Lions was to tell the world that the Lions were going to get the crap kicked out of them while smiling and then bite people's knees. He also had "The Dude" put on the sign outside his office door right next to Head Coach. So we know he's a character with seemingly unlimited potential, but where do we go from here?

Let Dan Campbell reboot SpikeTV's Manswers.

Paramount is doing nothing with this intellectual property. The show's 59-episode run is not available anywhere. It's not streaming on CBS All-Access and Viacom has remained silent about whether it will be put on Paramount+ when the streamer rebrands.

You can purchase seasons 2, 3 and 4 for $10.99, $10.99 and $14.99 respectively. Or purchase the 25 best Manswers from season one on DVD for $37.83 (USED). This just won't do.

That's why Campbell should reboot it. You know how coaches have weekly call-in shows? DANswers. I can guarantee that Dan Campbell owns Blue Mountain State on DVD. You don't think he'd run through a wall if it meant he could make just 10 episodes of Manswers so the show's legacy is solidified with 69 episodes?

And why stop there? Remember 1000 Ways to Die? Number 313 was "Be Eaten Alive By Detroit Lions." This is his destiny. I mean, can we even be sure that Campbell wasn't hired as part of a third season of The Joe Schmo Show? He kind of looks like someone who would own a tavern that ends up on Bar Rescue. Can we make Jon Taffer a quality control coach? Should Vic Romano, Kenny Blankenship and Guy LeDouche from MXC take over calling Lions games? It's just crazy enough to work.

The possibilities are endless and the Lions must embrace this. Actually playing football hasn't been working out for the Lions so they should pivot like the people at Spike did. They started as The Nashville Network back in the 80's and have rebranded five times (The National Network, The New TNN, Spike TV, Spike) before finally becoming Paramount.

Meanwhile, the Lions have made the playoffs three times and had more than eight coaches over the same period. You tell me which company is in the better position as they head into the third decade of the century. Lions players would probably do much better in a Pros vs. Joes situation anyway.

This is perfect. This will be a touchdown of a move. And what do you do after a touchdown? You SPIKE it. Yeah. That's right. Do you see how perfectly the stars have aligned for Dan Campbell to save both Spike TV and the Lions? It starts with Danswers. Or Manswers. It just makes too much sense not to happen. For Detroit, bros, and Joe Schmo's.

Any questions?

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