The NFL Will Go On Without the Collinsworth Slide

Cris Collinsworth
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The Collinsworth Slide is a thing people absolutely love even if its greatness is a bit lost on me, but hey, let people enjoy things. Whatever the best NFL game analyst needs to do to prepare himself to observe and synthesize the Sunday night action is fine and part of an important process.

Sadly for the Slide Heads out there, Cris Collinsworth will not be doing his smooth move in accordance with social-distancing guidelines. Al Michaels revealed the sad news on a conference call with reporters Thursday morning.

Distressing. 2020 strikes again.

I can't help but wonder, though, if there isn't a work-around solution here. How about getting a Collinsworth cutout and strapping it to a model train or some string a la Kevin McAllister in Home Alone? The CDC, to the best of all our knowledge, hasn't said anything about cardboard depictions of a person carrying the virus or being dangerous in any way.