Coca-Cola Pinocchio Commercial is Extremely Unsettling
By Liam McKeone

Watching the March Madness tournament games comes with required viewing of many, many commercials. Such is the life of watching cable. Can't really avoid it.
One commercial that I have seen numerous times already through only two days of all-day basketball watching is the Coca-Cola Zero advertisement featuring Pinocchio. Apparently it is not a new commercial, first hitting the airwaves in January. It might have been on during the Super Bowl and I just missed it, but the NCAA tournament is the first time I've ever seen this.
It's... horrifying. To the uninitiated, I apologize:
It's just so unsettling. CGI Pinocchio is something I now know I absolutely do not need under any circumstances. It isn't "bad" by commercial standards, and I don't have a bone to pick with anyone over at the ad firm, but it makes me flinch every time I see it. The weird quality of Pinnochio's skin is haunting me. And don't even get me started on the damn cricket.
It's also a little messed up! They're bullying Pinocchio even though they both know he has a very physical and visible tell when he lies! Not that it makes it any better when his nose actually extends at the end. The only thing worse than CGI Pinocchio is CGI Pinocchio with a nose the size of a tree branch.
If I never see this again for the rest of my life, I'll be happy. Sorry, Coca-Cola.