Chris “Birdman” Andersen wins the Best Interview Responses award. Rather than just showing up so he won’t get fined or grousing about bad questions, he just gets literal or goes stream of consciousness with metaphors.
When asked about “how much do you have left?” which is a Top 10 sportswriter cliché, he went with a discussion of lunch and ATMs.
How much do you have left at this point in your career?
“I’ve got about 12 dollars left in my pocket because of Chick-fil-A, but I can go to the ATM any time and withdraw a limit of $300.”
Ok, but you played at 36 or 37 years old (36, actually) this year. How much do you have left?
“Man, you are terrible with numbers. I can withdraw from the ATM $300. I don’t know where you get 36, 37.”
Earlier, he answered questions about the Heat’s injury issues by going deep into old trucks.
It was a lot of instability to deal with.
“Up and down, side to side, like my ’67 truck. Know what I’m saying?”
No, of course not.
“Front, back, side to side. That’s what it’s like.”
“It’s a Chevy. C-10.”
So the season was like a ’67 Chevy?
“My ’67 Chevy.”
So you gotta get the transmission rebuilt?
“No. It’s just front, back, side to side.”
This seems like a metaphor, but I don’t follow it.
“Well you don’t have air ride on your truck, do you?”
Probably not. I drive a Toyota Camry.
“There you go.”
Long may you live, Birdman. And now can you talk about . . .?
[h/t: Michael Ryan Ruiz]