Baltimore Orioles Wear Horrendous Uniforms, Hit Rock Bottom

Kyle Koster
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The Baltimore Orioles are the worst team in baseball. Things are so bad that this article from The Onion barely stretches the bounds of belief. With half the season still left to play, the franchise is in the unfortunately familiar position of figuring out ways to retain public attention.

Jazzing up the uniforms is the go-to answer in recent years, so the Orioles did just that against the Cleveland Indians last night. And because the team is based in Maryland, you know the state flag was heavily incorporated.

Marylanders love their flag as much as Michiganians love to put the shape of their state on cars. I’ve traveled the world and seen it all, but no two things are as beloved by their constituency. I hope to one day care for something as deeply as these fine people do, openly and proudly.

It’s good practice to live and let live yet it’s also good practice to say something if you see something that warrants speaking up. It’s the silence of good people that allows fashion atrocity to flourish.

With that in my mind, look at the bill of Andrew Cashner’s hat and consider what it all means.

This is the kind of outfit you see and wonder if everything is alright at the designer’s home. What would compel a person to do this to a baseball game?

It’s pretty amazing that they keep making uniforms worse than the other cash-grab uniforms that came before, but here we are. Looking forward and half-grimacing about the next disastrous foray.

Uncomfortable time for America’s pastime.

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